As humans, we are very loyal to our habits and sometimes people – even the ones that bring us pain and keep us in uncomfortable zone but because we’re used to the experience, thrill, the good moments we have with them, we hang on to the illusions and sabotage our chance to change and bloom. We eventually become unaware when our habits (and people) keep us in a state of unfulfillment, anxiety, sadness, or resentment.
A person who is more focused on promotion is often very positive about change and adopts new ideas quickly whereas someone who is more focused on prevention is happier not changing. This depends on the circumstances we find ourselves in. If they are really bad, we all want. If they are really good, no one wants change. It’s when things are neither really good nor bad that the differences between people are apparent. Unfortunately, we love the idea of change but not taking the needed steps to change – we slip into the ‘let’s maintain the status quo’ anthem because if it’s not broken…don’t repair!
We maintain the status quo in every aspect of our lives more especially in very unhealthy and ‘going nowhere’ relationships. The status quo is of course subjective. One person’s idea of a comfort zone is another person’s idea of hell. Some people will maintain their status quo if it’s not healthy – some men are simply interested in quantity, variety and good looks – nothing deep and nothing lasting.
Lasting to such men actually means “rinse and repeat” – their mentality is always ‘I’ll stay until I’m bored and I’ll come back when someone else has gotten bored with me or I’ll do my best to get all I can’ – and when they decide to change, it becomes too herculean for them and they maintain the lifestyle they ‘so detest’.
We love to maintain the status quo (in very uncomfortable zones and territories) because of what ‘people will say and what society will think’ – we hide behind a plastic smile to show all is well and in so doing, we put ourselves through torment and ‘silent suffering’.
Self-esteem has the word ‘self’ in it for a reason so if you believe that you deserve happiness , love, care, trust and respect (they’re needs and not wants) for that matter, you will give it to you. Some people sit in their mess and crappy situations (not married couples) as if happiness and contentment is out of their comfort zone and out of reach. They are the people who always ‘needs’ someone around them to make their life and living worthwhile. The worst kind of pain is chosen/self-inflicted pain.
There are others who take the bold step to change but their new surroundings become too unfamiliar to them. They don’t have the patience to enjoy their new found peace, people, love and rest. They eschew their new found happiness and end up going back to a toxic ex, parasitic friends or the poor lifestyle/habits. They finally end up feeling deep regret over their actions and allowing their fears and a sense of unworthiness to overtake them.
Maintaining some ‘status quo’ comes at a very high price, drop them and embrace the journey of change you fear so much to embark on.